Do you know that your relationships—with your partner, family, and friends—depend on your self-worth and self-love?
Do you know that the amount of money you earn is directly related to how much you value yourself?
Do you know that many of your physical and emotional struggles might actually be caused by a lack of self-acceptance?
Yeah, I didn’t know any of this either!
In my twenties, I was on what I thought was a deep, spiritual journey, but in reality, it looked more like an episode of a bad reality show.
I kept asking myself: Why am I here? What is my purpose? Meanwhile, my relationships were falling apart, I was attracting all the wrong people, and life felt like a confusing mess.
Have you ever noticed that lost people attract other lost people? And broken people? Well, they attract more broken people—or, if you’re lucky, a “savior” who wants to fix you. The problem? Once you don’t need saving anymore, things get awkward. It’s like hiring a plumber when your pipes aren’t broken—at some point, he just stands there, holding his wrench, wondering what to do next.
Eventually, things got so bad that I hit rock bottom. And when I say rock bottom, I mean the full experience. I tried to end it all. But, spoiler alert—I didn’t die. Instead, I found myself in that weird in-between state where you’re not fully awake, but you’re not totally out either. Floating somewhere in the middle, I overheard two people arguing over who had to take care of me. Not who wanted to, but who was stuck with me.
Wow! Talk about an ego boost.
At that moment, something clicked. If I wasn’t dead yet, and if no one else wanted to take responsibility for me, then maybe—just maybe—I needed to take responsibility for myself. Maybe I wasn’t just some cosmic accident. Maybe I actually had something valuable to offer the world.
Now, don’t get me wrong. This realization didn’t instantly transform me into a glowing, enlightened guru. Nope. I went right back to my old ways for a while, because, let’s be honest, change is hard. I fell into another not-so-great relationship. Made more questionable life choices. But little by little, something inside me was shifting.
Then, at the end of 2008, I had my real awakening. Not the fake, “I’m totally healed after reading one self-help book” kind of awakening, but a genuine shift. I realized that I wasn’t alone—ever. There was something bigger guiding me, whether you call it the Universe, a higher power, or just really good gut instincts.
And here’s the crazy part: Even when I messed up (which I did, a lot), this higher power never abandoned me. It was like having a really patient, loving GPS system. Even when I took the worst possible detour, it would just gently recalculate and find me a new path.
The Path to Self-Discovery (Without Losing Your Mind in the Process)
If you’ve ever felt lost, let me save you some time: The answer isn’t out there—it’s inside you. (Annoying, I know, but stay with me.)
Here’s how to start:
1. Stop Sacrificing Yourself for Others
If your idea of self-care is hiding in the bathroom for five minutes while pretending to look for lost contact lenses, we need to talk. Taking care of yourself isn’t selfish—it’s necessary. You can’t keep pouring from an empty cup unless you enjoy being exhausted, resentful, and running on caffeine fumes.
2. Make Time for Yourself
When was the last time you sat with your own thoughts? And no, scrolling through Instagram while questioning your life choices doesn’t count. Take yourself on a date. Write in a journal. Stare at the ocean like a mysterious poet. Whatever it takes to reconnect with you.
3. Cultivate Self-Worth and Self-Love
If you wouldn’t let someone talk to your best friend the way you talk to yourself, it’s time to change the conversation. No more, “I’m not good enough” nonsense. Try, “I am a glorious work-in-progress, and that’s okay.”
4. Trust the Universe (Even When It Feels Like It’s Messing with You)
Ever had one of those days where you’re convinced the Universe is just testing your patience? Same. But here’s the thing—it’s always guiding you, even when things don’t make sense. Just breathe. Trust. And maybe don’t text your ex.
5. Find Support (AKA, Stop Trying to Do Everything Alone)
Growth isn’t a solo sport. Find a community that lifts you up instead of drains you. (Hint: If your current circle feels like an energy vampire convention, it’s time for new connections.)
Ready to Find Yourself? Let’s Do This Together
I created female retreat Woman of Five Elements because I know what it’s like to feel lost, to doubt yourself, to wonder if you’re ever going to figure it all out. And I also know what it’s like to come out on the other side.
If you’re ready to take that first step toward self-love, self-worth, and maybe even a little self-laughter, join me.
• DUMBO, Brooklyn – Sunday, February 16, 2025
• Costa Rica – August 8, 2028 (Two locations: the mountains for Yin energy and the ocean for Yang energy, because balance is everything.)
This journey doesn’t have to be heavy. It doesn’t have to be hard. It just has to start.
So… are you in?
With love (and a little laughter),
Yulia Mingazheva
Creator of female retreat Woman of Five Elements.
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